I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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