I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
