evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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