don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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