Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There r osticjed everywhere
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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