Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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