Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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