I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
