im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
