I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
