so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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