Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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