so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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