nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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