I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
