i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
