well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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