He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
