I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
