im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
