I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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