I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
