Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
