He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
