Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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