That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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