um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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