Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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