Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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