Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
