He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
