Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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