It's like a parade of train wrecks.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
