either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
