Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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