I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
