Kiss
Puke
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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