it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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