okay pat passed out under dana's car
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
