You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
