i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
