At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
