can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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