I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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