So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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