Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
