I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
