great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
