Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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