Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
